I don’t know what it is today, but it’s just not so much fun.

If  Jessica were here things would be so much better, I’d probably be laughing and all smiles but it’s strange. I’m just so depressed today, and kind of for no reason. I don’t really know why I am posting, maybe just because I really miss her today. I miss her smile and her oh so contagious laugh that everyone loved. It was loud, but beautiful. I just miss her very much.

Hi darling,
I miss you so much. You would be so proud to know that I am in my third week of school now, almost four. Can you believe it? I’ve been in school for almost a month. The school you told me about. The school you wanted to go to. I wish you were here, I imagine sometimes what it would be like to have lunch with you, to sit down and talk about our Pentateuch homework, or what you think about the text book we are reading in Intro to Church ministry. I wish so badly that I could take you to see Snow Patrol, they are coming and I get to see them in October. I wish you were here for my 22nd birthday, because without you, it just seems like another number. I cannot believe I’m already older than you. It’s strange, surreal. I wore your boots to school the other day, and I plan on wearing you converse soon. That saying “to walk in her shoes” have never been more realistic than now.

I love you Jessica.
I know you would be so proud.

I miss you!!!!!!!!!!!! almost every time i pass the sign i honk in memory of you =)

This is a big step for me, because I haven’t written to you here. I think about you so often though. There is a song that always makes me think of you. I’m sure other people have heard it as well but it’s called ‘From Where You Are’ by Lifehouse. Here’s the link for all, 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VRB9vI99XgY

Some of the lyrics are, 

So far away from where you are 
These miles have torn us worlds apart 
And I miss you 
Yeah, I miss you 
So far away from where you are 
Standing underneath the stars 
And I wish you were here 

I miss the years that were erased 
I miss the way the sunshine would light up your face 
I miss all the little things I never thought that they’d mean everything to me 
Yeah, I miss you 
And I wish you were here 

This is just so true. I miss you so much and truly do think of you very often. The months after you’re passing on to be with Jesus, Jason, Daryn and I were lucky to have each other. We hung out every day, thinking, praying, and crying together for two months straight. We just kind of had a promise to be there for each other if needed. I have other memories to share but here is this.

One day, Jason was driving with me to church and when we parked in the parking lot, I handed him a two page letter stained with tears. It was something I wrote to you that had memories of all of us, daryn, you, jason, heather, rachel and i. But one in particular, brought tears down both jason’s face and my own.. I turned to him as I heard him read, “…. Remember the weekend before Jason’s birthday? You and I were working the crash bar, just waiting for Jason to come to a church service. Haha, I remember you had me text him to find out when he was coming because you were so impatient. You  had got him, or shall I say, made him, the best present he’s ever received. Finally, after what seemed like hours upon hours of waiting, Jason happily walked through those doors and greeted us. and out you walked behind the crash bar with his present.! He opened up the box, as you stand in front of him smiling from ear to ear, and he sees ALL kelly clarkson! EVERYTHING he had wanted, you gave him in the coolest way. In no way was that corny. He kept that in his truck for a long time. It was so cool to be there in the foyer with you guys as he got that from you…”  I had to write out what I was feeling, including the grief and guilt I blamed myself for. There were some good memories. And it was this memory that I wrote out, that Jason had a hard time reading for himself. It was so cute the crush you had on him but more importantly, the friendship you two shared will always forever be in his heart. 

I don’t have a whole ton of memories with you like Daryn, Jason and Rachel do.  Its so completely my fault because I didn’t let you ‘in’ I wasn’t there for you in all things, and its my fault. It’s just something for me to work through and honestly, this time I’m trying to. I really don’t do well at processing issues and working through them but I’m doing it this time. 

I just know that I adore you, admire you, look up to you and love you. I’m friends with your sister, Sarah. We have a special heart/sister bond that I will not take for granted and be forever grateful for. 

Love you Jessie sweetie.

I just wanted to say im definitley thinkin of you!!:) I miss you everyday!! I know your havin a blast in heaven!

Put in a good word for me!! Your something special, God will listen;)

Jessi

Jessica,

it is so hard to write this, for so long i tried to pretend that this never happened.  i should have stayed closer, i regret that when i saw you last i didn’t talk to you much… too busy with my own thoughts…

some of my greatest memories are when i would come back from college in Portland and the first thing i would do is visit you.  sometimes you were so happy and others you were so, well, pissed.  mostly at my cousin…he had your heart. 

i drive by the new sign every day… i can’t help but cry or smile or laugh out loud when i remember some of the funny things you did…  you were the one who taught me how to do my makeup.  you sat next to me in choir and made funny jokes with me…james, need i say more. 

jess, i miss you dearly

love, Bethany

Yesterday the “don’t drink and drive” sign was unveiled.  At the bottom was yours and Krissy’s name and it was so surreal.  I signed the back of it but  I just don’t know how I feel about the sign.  I feel confused sometimes when I think of the day you left us.  You are with our loving God and I am so envious.  I wonder if you can see us.  What’s it like baby girl?  No day can go by without a thought of you in it.  I yearn for your hugs and hearing your laugh.

soooo much!! its not even funny!

i cant help but be selfish and want you back!

there is so much i would tell you

Happy birthday sweetie!  One year ago exactly we were out painting the town in your honor!  It was a night I’ll remember forever!!!

Hey all,

I realize that this site has somewhat fallen off the radar lately I’m sorry for that. Rob has asked me to get the announcement out for a dinner at the Heathman Lodge in Vancouver, next to the mall, on February 22nd. Its going to be an awesome night and I personally am planning to go. I know of at least 5 other people. We want to sell out guys, get everyone you know. All the proceeds of this evening of fun goes into a scholarship fund that will help local youth in many, many ways. Lets do it for Jess and Krissy!

Cheers all.

Here’s some more info on the night. Print these and hand them out! jessicascholarhip.pdf