Jess,

I know you will never read this but I just have to write this out. I feel as if I am re-living the morning we were told of your death over and over again. I was shielded by shock for the first two weeks and now I am hurting, really hurting. I was so looking forward to you getting married and having babies of your own. You would have been such a good mom. I know you are up in heaven with our saviour and how glorious that must be. I am sure you don’t even know that we miss you like we do. Earth is just not the same place with out you. I wish I was with you. I feel so selfish for thinking like this but you were robbed from me way to early in your life. I just cannot let you go! I weep everyday now for you. God I wish you were here with me….with us. Living as a family of four is just wrong. Baby Girl I wish you could come back so I could hug you one last time. At least I could say some things to you before you went home with the Lord. Did I say that I love you enough? I yearn for your arms around me. I ache everyday and instead of this getting easier it is getting harder for me. When will this pain stop? I just want it to go away.

Jake – oh Jake I can’t stand being away from you….you were our first born and you were supposed to be there when I got old an gray. I miss you so much that I cannot even express how deeply I am in pain. It just hurts too bad.

Please come back to me and your family. I hate aching like this. I wish I knew why I had to hurt like this. I don’t understand.